5 Other Songs Banned From UT’s Practices

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Mississippi Girl by Faith Hill

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Mississippi Girl? IS THIS SERIOUS? I already got my Mississippi girl. He’s a 6’5, 310-pound little number named Drew Richmond. [pauses rant to wink toward the camera]

Do you think in Oxford they’ve somehow taught themselves to be technologically proficient enough to use a speaker system in their rinky-dink practice facility? Speaking of that goat ranch, how do you think it compares to the state-of-the-art facilities here at Tennessee? [to camera, wearing an impossibly earnest expression] Where we’d really like you to be a part of our family, son.

So do you think they’re more concerned about teaching themselves how to play music through their megaphone, er, PA system or maybe with BEGGING PLAYERS TO COME TO THAT MUDHOLE?

But even if they could play Rocky Top on their boombox, they WOULDN’T. Because it’s Mississippi and they DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE iTUNES. That didn’t really make 100% sense, which strikes me as appropriate. Because neither does Mississippi.

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